Not Enough To Show I Care

"Ain't got nothin' but love babe

Eight days a week

Eight days a week, I love you

Eight days a week, is not enough to show I care"

-"Eight Days A Week", The Beatles

Ahhh. Before I start, I would just like to say that my nails are painted le colour noir and that I had forgotten how much I hated waiting for them to dry (you can't eat anything!). Now that I've said that, I have brought with me rather, no, very depressing news. I'm going back to school tomorrow. Doom doom doom. And I'm absolutely dreading it. As Dolly Levi says, "Goodbye, goodbye, goodbyeee!"

A quick reflection on my three week break. All I remember most is movies, movies, and more movies. And I remember reading almost all the queries in query shark. I faintly remember going to San Francisco, but that was so long ago, long ago.

I really don't know what this post is going to be about. But I'd like to say I recently hit a OMG-what-if-I-really-suck? moment. I abhor those. Now, my mind's all in flutter like what if I'm not good enough? And it's all confusing, confusing! I don't know how to explain it, but allow me to compare myself to Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment right after he murdered that one lady (I need to catch up on my reading). That's exactly how I feel, but I haven't murdered anybody, I just feel extremely sucky. I look upon my writing with disdain, especially my 2K which I am seriously reconsidering. It's too late now! Tomorrow is school (doom, doom, doom) and I'll have to turn it in! *headdesk*

I want to quote something I said in Steph Bowe's blog when she asked the post about our writings. I said:

My writing? Well, I imagine writing as words floating around in the air and I
have to pick them like I would an apple from a tree to create the most pretty
sentence (or apple pie). And if I get writer's block or lack of inspiration, I
usually end up pacing around the house, trying to find that perfect word that
will get me back on track. I like exploring writing, like different POVs or
genres. I'd like to get published before graduating high school, like you did
Steph, lol. But though I think my writing is knock-your-socks-off-awesome (who
doesn't feel like their baby is the most adorable in the world?)I don't think
it's quite yet ready for the publishing world. I'm still waiting for that
knock-your-socks-off-awesome story, and so far I haven't found it, or it hasn't
come to me. I've been writing since I was little (as most writer's have)and I
think I'm going to pretty much end up writing for the rest of my life.As for a
sample of my writing, why, this comment reflects it quite well. ;)

So yeah, that's pretty much it. Now you know how I write. When I can't find the words, I hit writer's block. Or a wall. (When you're looking for words in the air, you're only lookin' up. I especially hate it when the word is on the tip of your tongue and you know it starts with a certain letter, but you just can't catch it! Oh, yes, look at me all funny but you know exactly what I mean.)

Oh, oh! I know what to talk about now that's totally unrelated to my writing.

Adverbs!

Why so sullen? Oh, sure. Adverbs might not be fun in English class (believe me, I know) but here on this blog, I'll try and make it as interesting as I can in my current state of mind.

You know the golden rule in writing, show don't tell? (I'll cover that later when I'm more sane and less dizzy). Well, as I critique in critique circle I see a lot of adverbs. To me, there are two types of adverbs.

• The ones you can show
• The ones you can't show

Allow me to make lists

The Ones You Can Show

frustratingly, protectively, passionately, fearlessly, noisily, rudely, merrily, bravely, calmly, hastily, irritably, obediently, politely, solemnly, wearily

The Ones You Can't Show

absolutely, faintly, exactly, extremely, especially, usually (I've taken these from this post) exceedingly

Do you get what I mean? Let's show the adverb frustratingly

Original: "Oh, geez, I don't know!" I said frustratingly.

Revised:"Oh, geez, I don't know!" I cried, pulling at my hair. But even that pain didn't cover the rising feeling of doom at the thought of school tomorrow.

You see the showing not telling? You get the idea I'm frustrated and that mere thought of school, right?

Let's try another using hastily

Original: I hastiliy put on my clothes and ran out the front door.

Revised: I shoved my pants up, snatched a random shirt from the floor and yanked that on, too. My eyes flashed to my alarm clock. Good grief, late on the first day of school! Stupid clock! I dashed downstairs, having a second to give a quick kiss to my mom and flew out the door like my butt was on fire.

Okay...so not the best imagery, but you get the idea. I showed you hastily instead of telling.

Now, regarding the adverbs you can't show, check back on my post and spot those adverbs. Let's take this example I made up right now,

I am absolutely certain that my first day back at school will heavy my backpack with all its pointless homework.

You see? Maybe you can show absolutely, but I categorize those kinds of adverbs as OK since you can't really show it. (Speaking of advebs, the author of Crime and Punishment uses them like every other sentence!! Oh, well. It was written well before we had all these "writing rules"). There might be people out there who aren't even okay with those kinds of adverbs and say scratch it out all together. Of course, if I scratch out "absolutely" my sentence will still make sense. But I rather like it with the absolutely; it better depicts my disdain.

That's something to keep in mind. Remember, if it's an adverb you can show, then show it for goodness' sake! Some of those adverbs in can't show can be shown like "faintly". But the way I used it in this post I believe is allowed in my book. It's those other adverbs like carefully you have to find a way to show. Now, that wasn't too bad, was it? :)

To digress, I'd like to talk about something popular in romances and that is kisses. If there's one phrase I see when reading those scenes is this:

He/She deepened the kiss.

Nooo! Even somewhere in the Nanowrimo forums, someone said they thought this was overused. And since you saw me put it in this color, you know I agree, too. At first when I read that, I was like, I never seen that before. But if you go out there and read all these WIPs, they are there! Yikesss! Keep that in mine, romance writers. I won't be too happy to see this and if you're on Critique Circle and I see it, you bet there'll be something in my inline critique about it.

Okay, that's enough for today. As always, I wish I have been of some aid to you and your writing. Wish me luck going back to school and especially (ha!) my sore back which will not be happy to have the heavy backpack on it again. (Eeks! I said 'back' way too much. This is one of my pet peeves, but I'm feeling way too confused and dizzy to edit it, all my energy went to adverbs).

After the break, (or in this case my finished winter break)

Vanille

"The founding fathers... provided jails called schools, equipped with tortures called education. School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you." -John Updike, The Centaur, 1963

& just for fun/I couldn't decide which one I liked best

"I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated." -Al McGuire

P.S. I hope I didn't jinx myself with the late example

P.S.2. Speaking of after the break, American Idol's coming back on! I forgot the exact date, but I know it's in this month. Yays! I love the first audition park. Edit: Radio said it's coming on Jan 12! Maybe there is a silver lining to every storm cloud! (or something along those lines...)

I Did It My Way

"My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, 'I did it my way'

I just wanna live while I'm alive

'Cause It's my life"

-"It's My Life", Bon Jovi

Hey everyone! Well, I didn't make it to the finals of Nathan Bransford's contest. Yes, yes. I know, a shame isn't it? Hold all "awwws". Haha! Just kidding. I think like a pessimist most of the time, so I was already prepared to lose. Anyways, the finalists' entries were pretty darn hot and I know they deserved it more than I do. BTW, I voted for Jenny's because it's more, to me, like what a teen would write. And Jenny won, too, so congratulations! I think I'm going to head over to her blog (if she has one) and say it. The other one I liked was the one (man, I forgot the username) about getting bullied. It was pretty darn hilarious. The others I didn't feel captured the teen's mind. Haha. In other words, it was too poetic or insightful.

I have bad news. School's starting in two days (after this weekend) and I know I'm going to get bombarded with homework, so I may not be able to post regularly but you're darn right I'ma try my best. Now, enough of this school talk. It's depressing me.

Topic of the day is: Don't Worry About Starting Over!

Yesterday, I just could not write. Whatever I wrote majorly sucked. I had written this thing and I was too lazy to rewrite it, but I really wasn't having fun with it and you know that voice in the back of your head that's always right? Yeah, well, it was telling me "this majorly sucks". And I knew it in my heart too. So I did something a slacker like me doesn't do often: and that was start over. So, I'm starting over with this fresh new piece of paper and half-way through the voice tells me "this is going nowhere". And I knew it in my heart, too (repitition intended). So, I got out this other piece of paper, cut my story in half, rewrote the decent half, and continued in a new direction. And while I am writing, the voice is telling me in this really weird Jafar (the evil guy who looks somewhat like a monkey in Aladdin) voice "much better" (I think that's what he said when Jasmine pretended to fall in love with him !!). And I was happy I pleased the voice but a little creeped out too. Now, I'm back on track. I think if I would've continued going on the first path, I'd be coming to this blog with more bad news other than school. (Can you say ex-WIP?)

Let me give some examples off the top of my head:

Take Christopher Paolini, the author of Eragon. I remember reading somewhere, I think in his acknowledgements, that he had to start this scene all over (the horror!) because I think it was his mother who said it was not good. And now look at it, much better, eh?

And, I mentioned this before already, the original storyboard for Aladdin. Some guy said "I don't like it" and they had to start all over in a limited amount of time at that. But I've gotten a glimpse of deleted scenes from the old storyboard and have a general idea of the storyline. I have to say, the new one is much, much, better. Did you know Aladdin used to have a momma? Yep, that was before she was cut off from the whole film. These guys were really attached to her (there was even a song related to her: "Proud of Your Boy") and they didn't want to let go, but it's a good thing they did. A really good thing.

See? You need to make some sacrifices and not be lazy (Vanille) to start all over. If there's a little voice inside your head that sounds oddly a lot like Jafar or the Chesire Cat, then you must listen. (Unless the voice is telling you to kill somebody). I'm glad I started all over because I know that if I went in the direction I was going in, the book would turn out all screwed up and I don't want a screwed up novel now do I?

Anyways, I'd just like to add that I've been writing by hand now. (Writing by hand?!) Yes, I do, in my pretty cursive. Pourquoi? Parce que, my novel is now set in diary format, which means my characters are writing by hand. I thought I should get the feel of it, like I'm the actual character. Isn't that a good idea? I think it's a darn hot idea. (After rereading My Most Excellent Year, I've taken to saying that a lot).

Have a darn hot weekend everybody! (I know it's January...)

After the Break,

Vanille!

"I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

P.S. I think it was this reason I stopped writing my ex-WIP. While I was writing, I wasn't really feeling it and I knew I was heading in the wrong direction but I didn't want to start over because I liked my purple prose too much (haha). But no fear, ex-WIP. I'm going to come back to you eventually and start anew. There's no way I'm throwing away hours of research on you for a couple of thousand words.

Try To See It My Way

"Try to see it my way,

Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?

While you see it your way,

Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone"

-We Can Work It Out, The Beatles

Hey, all. Today, I plan on doing two posts. The one after this is the one I was originally planning on doing today, but this great opportunity to fill out a kind of survey on myself and my writing was too good to pass. And I always like filling out surveys. I go to this website quite regularly (My fashion city is Paris! Mais oui!). Anyways, the backstory on the survey was that I was strolling about the blogosphere, clicking on writing blogs that other writing blogs followed, leaving a trail of comments on the way. When I stumbled on to this blog: Still Writing blogged by Elaine "still writing" Smith. She had filled out a form about her writing, and invited anyone to do the same. As I mentioned, I took up this opportunity. And I will begin answering the questions right after this quick update:

What I Accomplishd Yesterday Night:

• I mastered She's Loves You (The Beatles) on the piano! (the easy version...)
• I cleaned my room! (stuffing junk into crevices and drawers where they cannot be seen)
• I wrote 2,000 words! (C'est vrai!) :)
  
  I don't know how I did it, but I did. Now I'm at 4,300 words or so, which is slightly better than 2,000. Slightly.

Now on to the survey-thinga-ma-bobber!

1. What's the last thing you wrote? What's the first thing you wrote that you still have?

The last thing I wrote was, what I think, is a touching scene between my MC and his dying grandfather. The first thing I wrote I still have?! (*Thinks back to all the books I made when I was little about a worm and a butterfly going to school that came with illustrations drawn by moi*). Yikes! I think my mother threw them out. :( Otherwise, I have this diary from first grade that talks about me and Elmo's adventures. Does that count?

2. Write poetry?

When I feel poetic.

3. Angsty poetry?

If you can call a poem titled "Essays Will Be the Death of Me" angsty, then yes.

4. Favorite genre of writing?

Young Adult, Fantasy, Literary, Mainstream, Historical. Oops, that's too many. Well, any young adult book unless it deals with crime/mystery, horror, or scifi.

5. Most annoying character you've ever created?

Hmm...well, the first novel I attempted to write (it never got finished, but is still pending at chapter 41) had a handful of annoying characters. Her name was Madeleine, no, Madeline, wait, Madeliene. Well, I forgot how to spell her name, but she was annoying. It was one of those FOTSODTP things. She was really stupid (sorry, Maddy) and really her actions were just to develop the plot. I find those kinds of characters annoying - like they don't have a sensible thought in their head. They're all just like robots, doing whatever the writer tells them to, for the sake of the plot.

6. Best Plot you've ever created?

The plot I'm working on now. :)

7. Coolest Plot twist you've ever created?

(This was for my Nano) In the beginning, he was just using her to get to her father, but now he's fallen in love with her and he is very, very sorry for using her. Erm. Actually, that might not be the "coolest" plot twist, but more of a cliched one, I admit.

8. How often do you get writer's block?

*pushes buttons on calculator* Around every 2.4 days. :)

9. Write fan fiction?

No, actually. I don't approve of fanfics much. I think it's much better to write something original, than something already written. I have my other reasons, too, and I'll be talking about it later.

10. Do you type or write by hand?

I prefer to type, since I type faster than I write. But when my mother is hogging the computer, I have to resort to writing in my red notebook.

11. Do you save everything you write?

I try, but anything handwritten (like the stories I made when I was in kindergarten) are usually thrown out. Everything I write on the computer, though, even just a paragraph that will probably evolve to nothing, I save. Because once in a while, I like to look back on my writing and see where I've improved and what's stayed the same.

12. Do you ever go back to an idea after you've abandoned it?

Eheh...no. The reason for that is because I abandoned it most likely because I was bored with it. I don't want to write anything boring. So if I thought it was boring then, I'm still probably going to feel that way now. Though, I was thinking about going back to a story I began to write this summer, but abandoned it (again) when I thought of a brand, new, shiny one. And you know how much I like shiny things.

13. What's your favorite thing you've ever written?

That changes from time to time, but so far I really like this poem I wrote that is in relation to my story.

14. What's everyone else's favorite story that you've written?

I don't know. You see, I abandon so many ideas that I am wary of sharing my current WIP. Because I may very well abandon that, too, without warning (though I'm crossing my fingers that doesn't happen). So...I don't really don't know. Not till I finish something I truly like will I share it with people.

15. Ever written romance or angsty teen drama?

Yep, yep. Though, I don't try to make it angsty. I already have enough of that in my real life.

17. How many writing projects are you working on right now?

Well, see, I have like four plot bunnies hopping around in my head. Though one of them I'm serious about (the one with 4K) and the others I'm just letting float till I get to them. But see, I'm supposed to be writing something for my creative writing club, and I haven't gotten to that yet because my plot bunnies cannot be made into short stories. So, I guess you could say I have writer's block on that one.

19. What are your five favorite words?

I don't know! I love all my words. How about that? There's five words for ya. And another. ;)

20. What character have you created that is most like yourself?

Probably Sandrine from my Nano. We're alike 'cause we're very wary of strangers, espcially strange ones, and we're hesistant to do things. Like bungee jumping.

21. Where do you get ideas for your characters from?

First, I think, what is the personality of this character? Whatever the personality, the look usually corresponds. For example, my current MC is quite average. He has brown hair, not purple, but brown. And I make it a statement to say he has brown hair, not mahogany or milk chocolate. Just plain brown.

22. Do you ever write based on your dreams?

No. You don't want to know what goes on in my dreams. If you ever read a book based on my dreams, you would have a headache and get very stressed. Those are usually how my dreams are. And they don't make much sense either. I'm not like Stephenie Meyer, who dreamt about these two people in a forest and one was a vampire. My mind doesn't give me hints like that, I have to find it out for myself.

23. Do you favor happy endings?

Yes and no. I prefer bitter-sweet endings, as they're more realistic. But there's nothing wrong with a happy ending unless it's executed in a cliche way. You know what I mean. And they lived happily ever after.

24. Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?

Yes. Everything has to be satisfactory before I can go on, otherwise they always pester my brain, saying "fix me! fix me!". For example, it took my five minutes to start this post because I was wondering what song to put down. I could not start without having it above me. I'm weird like that.

25. Does music help you write?

Aha! Like Elaine said, "Is there a God in heaven?"

Of course! If I'm writing a particularly sad scene, I'll have slow, wallowing music in the background to help me set the mood. Though if I were writing, say, an action scene, then something that sounded close to the Mission Impossible theme song would be playing.

26. Quote something you've written. Whatever pops into your head.

I'll give you the beginning paragraph in my WIP

"Birds don't sing like that. Not high-pitched like those bouncy pop singers on TV nowadays nor low, like a whale's. But it was a language similar to that of whales - secret and enchanting. Only a voice that could be achieved by angels on high clouds, lamenting with sweet voice droning and clear notes wavering. The music of waves. The song of seashells when put to the ear, wondering how the ocean got there."

Of course, it needs some tuning up. Like, I see some passive voice somewhere in the middle, so I'll have to edit that later. Otherwise, I really like it. I wrote it in geography class, not bad, eh? ;)

Hope you learned a bit about my writing and a bit about me. And if there's anyone out there, you can do this little survey too.

After the break,

Vanille

"I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions." -James Michener

P.S. Sorry the formatting went beserk.