Not Enough To Show I Care

"Ain't got nothin' but love babe

Eight days a week

Eight days a week, I love you

Eight days a week, is not enough to show I care"

-"Eight Days A Week", The Beatles

Ahhh. Before I start, I would just like to say that my nails are painted le colour noir and that I had forgotten how much I hated waiting for them to dry (you can't eat anything!). Now that I've said that, I have brought with me rather, no, very depressing news. I'm going back to school tomorrow. Doom doom doom. And I'm absolutely dreading it. As Dolly Levi says, "Goodbye, goodbye, goodbyeee!"

A quick reflection on my three week break. All I remember most is movies, movies, and more movies. And I remember reading almost all the queries in query shark. I faintly remember going to San Francisco, but that was so long ago, long ago.

I really don't know what this post is going to be about. But I'd like to say I recently hit a OMG-what-if-I-really-suck? moment. I abhor those. Now, my mind's all in flutter like what if I'm not good enough? And it's all confusing, confusing! I don't know how to explain it, but allow me to compare myself to Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment right after he murdered that one lady (I need to catch up on my reading). That's exactly how I feel, but I haven't murdered anybody, I just feel extremely sucky. I look upon my writing with disdain, especially my 2K which I am seriously reconsidering. It's too late now! Tomorrow is school (doom, doom, doom) and I'll have to turn it in! *headdesk*

I want to quote something I said in Steph Bowe's blog when she asked the post about our writings. I said:

My writing? Well, I imagine writing as words floating around in the air and I
have to pick them like I would an apple from a tree to create the most pretty
sentence (or apple pie). And if I get writer's block or lack of inspiration, I
usually end up pacing around the house, trying to find that perfect word that
will get me back on track. I like exploring writing, like different POVs or
genres. I'd like to get published before graduating high school, like you did
Steph, lol. But though I think my writing is knock-your-socks-off-awesome (who
doesn't feel like their baby is the most adorable in the world?)I don't think
it's quite yet ready for the publishing world. I'm still waiting for that
knock-your-socks-off-awesome story, and so far I haven't found it, or it hasn't
come to me. I've been writing since I was little (as most writer's have)and I
think I'm going to pretty much end up writing for the rest of my life.As for a
sample of my writing, why, this comment reflects it quite well. ;)

So yeah, that's pretty much it. Now you know how I write. When I can't find the words, I hit writer's block. Or a wall. (When you're looking for words in the air, you're only lookin' up. I especially hate it when the word is on the tip of your tongue and you know it starts with a certain letter, but you just can't catch it! Oh, yes, look at me all funny but you know exactly what I mean.)

Oh, oh! I know what to talk about now that's totally unrelated to my writing.

Adverbs!

Why so sullen? Oh, sure. Adverbs might not be fun in English class (believe me, I know) but here on this blog, I'll try and make it as interesting as I can in my current state of mind.

You know the golden rule in writing, show don't tell? (I'll cover that later when I'm more sane and less dizzy). Well, as I critique in critique circle I see a lot of adverbs. To me, there are two types of adverbs.

• The ones you can show
• The ones you can't show

Allow me to make lists

The Ones You Can Show

frustratingly, protectively, passionately, fearlessly, noisily, rudely, merrily, bravely, calmly, hastily, irritably, obediently, politely, solemnly, wearily

The Ones You Can't Show

absolutely, faintly, exactly, extremely, especially, usually (I've taken these from this post) exceedingly

Do you get what I mean? Let's show the adverb frustratingly

Original: "Oh, geez, I don't know!" I said frustratingly.

Revised:"Oh, geez, I don't know!" I cried, pulling at my hair. But even that pain didn't cover the rising feeling of doom at the thought of school tomorrow.

You see the showing not telling? You get the idea I'm frustrated and that mere thought of school, right?

Let's try another using hastily

Original: I hastiliy put on my clothes and ran out the front door.

Revised: I shoved my pants up, snatched a random shirt from the floor and yanked that on, too. My eyes flashed to my alarm clock. Good grief, late on the first day of school! Stupid clock! I dashed downstairs, having a second to give a quick kiss to my mom and flew out the door like my butt was on fire.

Okay...so not the best imagery, but you get the idea. I showed you hastily instead of telling.

Now, regarding the adverbs you can't show, check back on my post and spot those adverbs. Let's take this example I made up right now,

I am absolutely certain that my first day back at school will heavy my backpack with all its pointless homework.

You see? Maybe you can show absolutely, but I categorize those kinds of adverbs as OK since you can't really show it. (Speaking of advebs, the author of Crime and Punishment uses them like every other sentence!! Oh, well. It was written well before we had all these "writing rules"). There might be people out there who aren't even okay with those kinds of adverbs and say scratch it out all together. Of course, if I scratch out "absolutely" my sentence will still make sense. But I rather like it with the absolutely; it better depicts my disdain.

That's something to keep in mind. Remember, if it's an adverb you can show, then show it for goodness' sake! Some of those adverbs in can't show can be shown like "faintly". But the way I used it in this post I believe is allowed in my book. It's those other adverbs like carefully you have to find a way to show. Now, that wasn't too bad, was it? :)

To digress, I'd like to talk about something popular in romances and that is kisses. If there's one phrase I see when reading those scenes is this:

He/She deepened the kiss.

Nooo! Even somewhere in the Nanowrimo forums, someone said they thought this was overused. And since you saw me put it in this color, you know I agree, too. At first when I read that, I was like, I never seen that before. But if you go out there and read all these WIPs, they are there! Yikesss! Keep that in mine, romance writers. I won't be too happy to see this and if you're on Critique Circle and I see it, you bet there'll be something in my inline critique about it.

Okay, that's enough for today. As always, I wish I have been of some aid to you and your writing. Wish me luck going back to school and especially (ha!) my sore back which will not be happy to have the heavy backpack on it again. (Eeks! I said 'back' way too much. This is one of my pet peeves, but I'm feeling way too confused and dizzy to edit it, all my energy went to adverbs).

After the break, (or in this case my finished winter break)

Vanille

"The founding fathers... provided jails called schools, equipped with tortures called education. School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you." -John Updike, The Centaur, 1963

& just for fun/I couldn't decide which one I liked best

"I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated." -Al McGuire

P.S. I hope I didn't jinx myself with the late example

P.S.2. Speaking of after the break, American Idol's coming back on! I forgot the exact date, but I know it's in this month. Yays! I love the first audition park. Edit: Radio said it's coming on Jan 12! Maybe there is a silver lining to every storm cloud! (or something along those lines...)

I'll Send All My Loving

"I'll pretend I am kissing

The lips I am missing

And hope that my dreams will come true

And then while I'm away

I'll write home everyday

And I'll send all my loving to you"

-All My Loving, The Beatles

Dear Blog,

Things That Happened Since I Last Posted On You

• I cut my hair. Well, I didn't cut it, the hair salon lady did. What a disaster that would be if I did. *nervous laugh* So now, my hair is mildly shorter. Wonder if my classmates will notice when I go back to prison,*cough* I mean school. :) Oh, did I mention I apparently have a cowlick on my right side? o_O
• We went to this big bookstore that used to be Border's till they ran out of business. There were approx. four people in the whole building, including my mother, me, and the one cash register lady. They were having a sale, five dollars or less for every single book. Heaven, right? Except they were all old books. I was allowed to choose one book so I chose My Most Excellent Year by Steve Kluger. I've already read it, but I didn't want my mom to know that or else she'd make me chose another book. Shhh..I freaking love that book! I'm rereading it and have just rediscovered my freaking love for it.
• I entered this contest on Nathan Bransford blog. To read my entry click here. It's under my username alavanille and starts out with "Boy am I pissed". Isn't that interesting? Aren't you craving to read more? :D Sure you are.
• I FINISHED THE 2K FOR MY CREATIVE WRITING CLUB! *excited yelling not suitable for this blog ensues*

Things That Did Not Happen Since I Last Posted On You

• Read Crime and Punishment. Hey, My Most Excellent Year is just too good and too distracting. ;)

Oh yeah, I finally finished it. It's a roller coaster. Are you ready to hear the whole story? Well, I'll try to make it short.

Originally, I wanted this next post to be about a serious talk with Sleeping Beauty (the Disney movie). And I would have pointed out many issues I had with it, even though it was my favorite movie when I was in 4th grade (I even dressed up as her for Halloween). But then in my woe, I realized it would be impossible for me to write a decent story with all the necessary elements such as climax, resolution, because I have this problem with purple prose (Purple prose is a term of literary criticism used to describe passages, or sometimes entire literary works, written in prose so overly extravagant, ornate, or flowery as to break the flow and draw attention to itself.) Yeah, I have a problem with that. I'll blog about these topics later, though. So I was seriously freaking out and I thought, hey I should blog about my problem with purple prose, which is overflowing in my ex-WIP (ex-WIP?!?! Will explain later). But then my mom banned me from the internet and wouldn't let me back on if I didn't finish my 2K. Though I did manage to sneak on to enter in Nathan's contest.

So, in incredible woe, I looked back on my ex-WIPs to get an idea from them, and I did (see, I do eventually come back to them.) I had this, what I thought was, great beginning. I knew the middle, but I didn't know the end. You'll now see why I'm weird. I do all the editing in my head. No skeleton first draft for me, nope, everything gets organized in my head because I'm not going to bother typing or writing out something and just changing it later. I don't know, but once I write something down, it feels final, you know? And then I'm reluctant to cut it out. Maybe you don't know and it's just me. *shrug* Great possibility. Anyways, in the middle of all this great thinking, I entered in the contest (do I really have to hyperlink it again?). What's crazy is the idea for the contest was my very old original idea for my 2K (here's another example of why you should always keep ex-WIPs or at least keep ideas in a notebook). After I did the first diary entry, I thought I really liked where this was going, so just for fun I did a second journal entry and I thought, this can really go somewhere. Before you know it, a plot is forming in my head and I'm terribly afraid my current WIP has now changed and my other current WIP has now retired to ex-WIP. Oh, do I have to go into all the details? Okay.

Why I Had to Ditch My WIP

1. Time was running out (by that I mean my break was coming to end) and I still hadn't written anything for it. I think I was becoming bored *le gasp!* with it.
2. Rereading the 6K, I realized there was way too much purple prose.
3. I watched how they made the Aladdin movie, which was really interesting, and I found out they had made this whole story board but some guy said "I don't like it" and they had to start all over. I got a glimpse of their old story board, and I have to say, the version they have now is way better than what they had then. This got me thinking maybe the plot in my head for the WIP was like their old story board. And in truth, I didn't like it that much.
4. I watched Bridges of Madison County, which is based on the novel by Robert James Waller. While watching it, the more I thought Wow this is an amazing story line and Man, my story line is crappy. I cried at the end of the movie. I don't if it was because I so felt the character of Francesca losing her love or because I was mourning my WIP which seemed as flat and dry as the plains of Iowa.

Thus, ex-WIP. Ta ta, farewell, I hate to say adieu but this new project inspired by Nathan's contest is really intriguing and I'm actually having fun writing it. I feel like I'm back on track now, thus the new label: woohoowriting.

Anyways, there's something I want to talk about that's non-related to my writing, though it is related to Nathan Bransford's contest.

I'm reading through all these diary entries and I'm seeing a lot of this:

• The friend who has everything. Everything meaning: Pretty, thin, and has all the boys chasing after her.

Read this. What's number 20? Uh, huh.

Might I say, cliche alert? If you don't believe me, go and skim through the entries yourself. This was seen a lot along with teens (well, the prompt was to write a diary entry in a teen voice) complaining about how stupid a diary was. Though, I didn't have a problem with that as much as I did with the beautiful-friend-who-gets-everything. I'm not saying it's bad, but I'm seeing it a lot and I have to wonder if it's the only thing that teens to seem to have a dilemma with. Not true. Sure, sometimes I get jealous if my friend makes a new friend and I feel like an antiscoial loner, but it's not the top thing on my mind. I'm not going to be writing a journal entry about it and there's no way my life is revolved around my contempt for my friend-who-gets-everything. Hmm. Well, it's definitely something to think about. And if you're reading this and haven't entered the contest yet, I suggest not doing it on a beautiful-friend-who-has-everything and try to set yourself apart from the crowd, kays?? Unless, of course, you can twist the concept in some way, which I'm always a fan of. ^.^

Well, this has officially turned out longer that I meant to. I wish you all Happy Writings!!!

After the break,

Vanille

So in the spirit of Nathan Bransford contest, I give you this quote:

"Keep a diary and one day it'll keep you." -Mae West

P.S. I don't know how the heck Nathan Bransford is going to read all those entries (there are approx. 500 +) and be the sole judge. By George, I myself was skimming and skipping through those entries There were also some good ones that I wouldn't be able to choose from. My, would I be a horrible judge.

P.S.2. My mom read the 2K and said it was pretty good! :D Before you say what I know what you're going to say, let me say this (whoa): My mom isn't one of those parents who are biased and say everything their children does is pretty much flippin' awesome. My mom is harsh, and whenever I allow her to read my writing, she usually hates it. But this time, she actually liked it (but with some editing suggestions, of course). I'm really proud. She said I really do have a talent for writing. (I knew it ;)) When my English teacher gave me a B- on my essay, my mom said "You're not a good writer." GAH! But this convinced her back. Okay, maybe I can't write essays that have to be specifically structured, but I think I'm hecka of a storyteller. ;) IMO.

Help Me If You Can

"Help me if you can I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please please help me?"

-Help!, The Beatles

Help indeed. Le photo du jour couldn't be more correct.

What I have accomplished these past few days:

• eating myself silly
• singing myself silly on the karaoke (Scored 99/100 singing The Beatles)
• playing solitaire
• updating this blog

What I haven't accomplished:

• Writing. Anything.

When I last left you a few posts ago, I told you I had around 2,000 words finished.

I still do.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down. Okay. You know what? Right after I post this, I'm going to write. No getting distractions and chatting on the Young Writer's Society chat rooms. No more internet, period. It's not that I have writer's block or I don't know what to write. It's because I'm lazy, that's it. I know exactly what to write. I am capable of writing, see me write now? I just...I don't know what's gotten into me. What's gotten into you Vanille?! (This is bad, I'm talking to myself).You know, I'm on my three-week winter break right now. One week has already passed, this is the start of my second. When I have to go back...*shudders*...I will be very busy. No time to write, maybe no time to update this blog. Not even on weekends. *sigh*

Also, I have to write a 2K short story for my creative writing club. I haven't done so yet, because I don't know what to write. Every plot I think of cannot fit into a mere 2K, though that's only as far as I've gotten to on my novel! *cries*

Well. I suppose I've already ranted enough on my writing woes. One thing that surprised me today: When I reached my hand inside my bag of hot cheetos, there were practically none left. O_o

Yikes. Anyways today I'm going to be talking about literary lingo. For those of you newbie writers out there who are completely ignorant when you go to these critique groups or writing forums. You find yourself asking stupidly, "What is ___?" Well, I'm about to tell you now.

• WIP=Work In Progress not to be confused with RIP
• MC = Main Character
• MMC = Male Main Character
• FMC = Female Main Character
• SC = Secondary Character not used that often
• IMO = In My Opinion this can go for anything really, but writers tend to politely debate, and so we use this acrony a fair lot
• POV = Point of View like 1st person POV
• YA = Young Adult
• MG = Middle Grade
• SF = Science Fiction
• Fanfiction = A story based on books, TV shows, movies, etc. Harry Potter and mangas are used quite a lot in fanfiction.
• RPG = Role Playing Games, You basically fill out a form for an imaginary character you are going to play, then you and other rpgers will create a story by talking to each other as your imaginary characters.
• Plot Bunny = A plot that has been hopping around your head all day. Usually pops up during a story you are writing. Very bothersome, pestering you with writing them. Often writers send these plot bunnies to Plot Bunny Day Cares, to be picked up once they have finished doing whatever they're doing.
• Mary Sue = A character that is too perfect (nothing can go wrong with them, the odds seem to be always on their side, flawless). Mary Sues are considered to be very cliched, and there can be many variants of them (like writers trying so hard not to make their character into a Mary Sue, they end up making one anyways - this is called an Anti-Sue). They also appear in fanfiction and rpgs. For more information on Mary Sues go here. To see if your character may be a Mary Sue, go here.
• Gary Stu = The male version of a Mary Sue

Well, that's all I can think of right now, if I remember, I'll add more later. My MMC (don't you feel smart now that you know what I'm talking bout?) scored a 26 on the Mary Sue test, which is pretty good, I just need to polish him up a bit. :) But so far, I haven't really gotten to know his personality (because if you've forgotten, I'm only 2K in!). Hope you've gotten a better understanding of literary lingo now.

Also, on that website, they had some pretty funny syndromes which I see often. These are what I'd called another FTSODTP (For The Sake of Developing the Plot). Let me explain: You give your character a syndrome such as antisocial personality disorder so they won't talk to people. It's an easy way to do it, isn't it? Kind of like an excuse. And a lot of these are also bcoming overused.

Anyways, let me include some of them here.

• Changing the spelling of an ordinary name - EG, Alysin, Makynzie, Jayk, Dayve
• Does your character pick up new skills insanely fast? - "It usually takes years to learn this super advanced sword technique, but Mary Sue did it in days! *CoughKurosakiIchigoCough*
• Barbie Doll syndrome - Giving the character the main title for every plot that comes their way, no matter how irrelevant the titles are to each other; Giving them multiple professions/titles that have nothing to do with each other. "Princess Barbie has a medical degree. When she isn't saving the lives of humans, she's cooking top-class dinners at her favorite restaurant and saving the lives of pets everywhere!
• "Rebellious princess syndrome" - Symptoms include complaining about or refusing to wear "ladylike" clothing, refusing aristocratic suitors, generally hating her social position, and possibly even running away to escape marriage."
• Personal fixation/obsession - For example, Darth Vader's obsession with finding Luke Skywalker, Harry Osbourne's fixation with killing Spider-Man in the movies, and Wile E. Coyote's obsession with catching the Roadrunner.

From This Website

These are the ones I found interesting, these are the kinds of things Mary Sue's often have. I'd like to comment on the first and last one. For the first one: Are you noticing that vampires are now being called vampyres, fairies have turned into faeries, and magic is either magyk or magik? Kind of being overused now isn't it... And as for the last post, this is only very Mary Sue if the person has a personal fixation/obsession with someone for no apparant reason. That is horrible! It is one of those FTSODTP things. Eeksa!

That's all for now, folks. My back hurts and when I stretch, it cracks. That is not good. Imma off to write! *arm shoots out to the sky like Superman*

Au revoir, after the break,

Vanille

"If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it - I might be writing in my dreams." - Danzae Pace

P.S. Just keep on ignoring the Read More! things. I'm trying to get it fixed.

Taking The Easy Way Out

"Got a good reason for taking the easy way out,

Got a good reason for taking the easy way out - now."

-Day Tripper, The Beatles

Well, I feel postiviely blown up. I've been eating too many hot cheetos, See's candies, and donuts. *sigh*. It can't be helped. If I had the power, I'd buy a treadmill. I know what you're thinking - "Why can't you just jog around your neighborhood?"

BECAUSE MY NEIGHBORHOOD IS PRONE TO KIDNAPPING INNOCENT CHILDREN LIKE ME.

-_-

So you see my situation. And don't even mention pull ups. *curls lips in utter disgust*

Anyways, other than the fact I am completely irked because I still want to finish up that bag of hot cheetos...let's see what I'll be ranting -er, ahem - discussing today:

More Cliches! And what I call "For The Sake of Developing the Plot"

Well, I was strolling around Critique Circle today and actually critiqued two YA chapters (surprising since I haven't done that since probably September or earlier) and I was also watching TV. While eating hot cheetos. Don't say it. During all of this, I discovered two new cliches I've seen popping up. They are:

• People getting in plane/boat crashes and ending up on a deserted island where they have to struggle for survival while also questioning the other survivors who are making rather odd remarks on how good his flesh would taste after roasting on a fire.
• The MC's parents die in a car accident. MC must learn to cope with this. We follow MC's journey as MC gains a new perspective on the world and starts a new organization PCSA (Preventing Sudden Car Accidents) and becomes actively involved in toy drives.

Or something along those lines.

The main ideas are stranded on a deserted island and parents (and/or other family members) dying in a car accident.

I think you already understand the deserted island thing. Let me just say this - I know you really, really like the shows Lost and Survivor, but if your story is eerily familiar to these shows, then I'm probably going to skip your book. Oh, and did I mention that movie Tom Hanks starred in? The one with the soccer ball as his only companion? Oh, did I cry when it fell overboard. That doesn't mean write a story similar to it. It won't make me cry, it will make me think you are a very bad copycat.

As for the car accident, I am not trying to make fun of this or anything. Car accidents are serious and one of the main causes of death in America. It's probably why they're used so much in novels, along with cancer. There are other ways to kill of characters, you know. But this is beginning to seem like an easy way to do it. Really, if the car accident isn't connected to someway in the novel (like if the person who crashed into the car was the antagonist or one of his/her minions) then it's acceptable. But just to kill off the parents because your MC needs to have a magical quest and doesn't need to worry about the bother of her parents wondering why she is wandering out of the house with a stick claiming it's her wand...well...Do you see the cheapness? At least make it unique. There was this one book, I think it's called Ghost Girl. The girl died because she choked on a gummy bear. Isn't that interesting?

But of course, I can't tell you what to or what not to write. I can only hope you write it well.

Another thing: For The Sake of Developing the Plot

For example:

Modele:

"I wandered into a house I knew a rapist lived in just because."

"Lila trusted Tommy, even when he said the parachutes had a tendency to not open."

"Tommy robbed a bank because he thought it would be fun and he wasn't thinking of the consequences (10 years in prison, and penniless at that)."

"I jogged around my neighborhood, even though I know my neighbors are prone to kidnap innocent children like me just because."

For the Sake of Developing the Plot means that your characters do stupid actions no sane person would do just because they are needed to propell the story into action. I wandered into a house I knew a rapist lived in because the story is about a girl who gets raped. Lila trusted Tommy because the story requires both of them to die, so they can go up to heaven and meet pretty angels. Tommy robbed the bank because the author had to find a way to put the protagonist in jail - where he deeply pondered the meaning of life and befriended a murderer. I went jogging around my neighborhood because I had to be kidnapped, even though I knew better than to.

DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM HERE!?

Your characters don't have REASONS for their actions. Look here, I didn't just randomly choose to become a pharmacist - my parents did. There's my reason I am most likely going to study pharmaceutics in college even though I don't know what that means in the first place!

Let's revise these horrendous FTSOTP...

"I went into a house I knew a rapist lived in because I needed to find a way to raise money and I was going to babysit his, well, baby."

"Lila trusted Tommy, even when he said the parachutes had a tendency to not open because they had already paid for everything - jet, jumping suits, and cursed parachutes - and if they backed down now, the Sky Diving store would sue them, and they didn't have the money to get sued again.

"Tommy robbed a bank because the other gang members would make fun of him and possibly injure him very badly, if he didn't. And they promised he wouldn't get caught."

"I jogged around my neighborhood, even though I know my neighbors are prone to kidnap innocent children like me because I felt like I was eating too much and wasn't capable of buying a treadmill."

(Quinn on the tv show Glee had sex with Puck because she felt fat that day. And considering she was a cheerleader, it made sense. See how this is unique? She didn't have sex with him because she just found his mohawk so freaking irresistable for some reason (another FTSOTP reason, like in a certain book when a girl almost got killed because she was so attracted to this boy).

But you can't just say outright Tommy robbed a bank because the other gang members would make fun of him etc. That falls into the category of telling, and you know one of the golden rules of writing: show don't tell.

That's it for now. I hope you understand where I'm going with this For the Sake of The Plot business. As The Beatles say, "Try and see it my way." And always try and make your writing different and unique.

After the break,

Vanille

"A critic can only review the book he has read, not the one which the writer wrote." - Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

I Want To Be A Paperback Writer

"It's a thousand pages, give or take a few

I'll be writing more in a week or two

I can make it longer if you like the style,

I can change it 'round and I want to be a paperback writer"

-Paperback Writer, the Beatles

Happy Black Friday! I don't know, is it Black Friday? Or is Black Friday the day after the Thanksgiving? Oh, what am I saying? Today is Saturday! (over here at least). Okay. Well. Er. Happy Day After Christmas! What do you mean it's already the 27th in my part of the world? *sigh*. Just have a happy day, alright?

I open this blog with a song from the Beatles cd I got for Christmas - Paperback Writer. I was so astonished to see it there. It was a sign from God, really. Or something of the sorts. Of course, I can't possibly write a book that's a thousand pages long. Why, I need to get writing, I really do. I'm only at 2K words. And I also have to write another 2K for a completely different story for my creative writing club.

*smacks forehead*

Confound it!

(AquaTip: Agents are wary of novels over 100,000 words long)

Today, I will rambling on about cliches. I'll make it into a list, then discuss each one. Hmm...these cliches will be trends I've been seeing and things I think will become popular. At the end, I'll explain my reasons for choosing these as cliches. Of course, I might be adding more in later posts when I get to thinking of it, but till then. Now in no particular order...

1. Vampires (or, as some people like to be unique: vampyres)

2. (Fallen) Angels
3. Greek Gods & Goddesses
4. Romances set in Ireland and Scotland
5. Theme: Comingof age
6. Fairies (or, as some people like to be unique: faeries)
7. Pirates
8. Werewolves
9. Haunted Houses
10. Child Abuse

1. Do I really have to explain vampires (vampyres)? The only vampire books I will accept and not judge are Dracula, Anne Rice's books, and Twilight. You might be surprised at the latter. So why do I save it from critique? Because Twilight, though not the greatest book around, was the one who started this whole vampire mania, and therefore is not a copycatter. No doubt the craze (or should I say craving for blood?), has always been there, but now it's bigger than ever. The new books section at my local library is filled with vampire books. I don't know if it's because people have really become attached to these vampires or if they just want a share of the vampire glory. If you're going to write a vampire story, please, please make it somewhat different from Twilight! I swear I am NOT going to read another book about a goth girl with no intelligent thought whatsoever fall head over heels into an extremely-goth-but-handsome-looking vampire's arms because they're the only ones who understand each other in this lonely, lonely world. I will NOT tolerate anymore stories about a girl finding out she's a vampire (le gasp!) and having to go to an academy of vampires, whilst she gets entrapped in a confusing vampire-human-love-triangle . And I will NOT pick up another book at the library with a storyline eerily similar to twilight, involving werewolves (Oh, you know the ones).

You might have heard of the TV shoe, I mean show, Vampire Diaries. Now, the pros about this series is that it is unique in its own because it has a witch (& not those broom-riding kinds, Dead is the New Black) and some background history in their town - mystic falls. Stephen likes Elena because she looks like his old, OLD girlfriend, Katherine. And Stephen doesn't turn sparkly in the sunlight, and their eyes do these really cool bloody effects. Oh, and they aren't afraid to kill people. (Though I am quite displeased that the writers of the show had to put in that oh, "twilight has this vampire thing all wrong" scene. COME ON. It's Meyer's book, her world. She's not wrong, 'cause it's fiction. And she never meant it to be true either. So live with that, screenwriters. That is a sad way to try and be realistic.) But if you really think about it, isn't the plot line a lot like twilight: The girl falls in love with the vampire, the vampire is trying not to suck her blood. Isn't it?

Lastly, if you're going to put a twist to a vampire story, please don't have ghoul community full of witches and skeletons in it. It completely threw me off track and I had to repress a laugh at the incredulousness of it all.

Though not to name names here...

This is IMO. I'm sure other people may differ in opinion. But you have come here to me, and my views you shall read.

2. At Nanowrimo I've been seeing a lot of stories about angels. Also, when I read queries at agent's blogs, I see a lot of them on angels. I can't say I've seen them at the bookstore or library much, but be ready for them. They're coming!! Falling from the sky and bumping your head, all in a flurry of heavenly feathers.

3. I can't say I've seen these much either. But yesterday, I watched Avatar and there were two sneak previews of movies relating to this stuff - and obviously geared towards the YAs. (Oh, and also one on fallen angels). I read maybe two queries about Gods, also. So watch out, they're coming down with a lightning bolt!

4. Really? I mean, really. There are other places in the world, you romance writers know. Other places than poor Scotland and Ireland, so worn down by all your character's love. How 'bout Egypt? I'd love to read that one.

5. Coming of age. It's something we read in English class. (House on Mango Street). But I'm getting tired of this also. We all come of age, some later than others. Though I'm tired of reading it. Teenagers finding themselves is actually kind of boring on its own. First of all, teenagers do not want to read about someone else coming of age. Teenagers are to busy coming of age themselves. Secondly, if there is no romance or supernatural events or puppies, then it will just be a girl or boy walking around, thinking-much-too-deeply about the world. And we, well, I don't want to read that.

6. Ah, fairies. Has Tinkerbell inspired us now? I'm not against fairy stories, nor have I read any. But I'm seeing a steady growth....

7. I never get tired of pirates. In fact, pirates will make a special guest appearance in my own novel. Though, there's been quite a lot of 'em lately...ARGH YE MATEY...

I do horrible impressions.

(Did you know that real pirates never had any talking parrots, nor did they make their forlorn captives walk the plank? It's all Hollywood, people. Think about that while your writing.)

8. Werewolves pretty much are forever entwined with vampires. I've been seeing some unique twists on the concept of werewolves. Such as, werewolves coming of age in a city where they have to learn to deal with their horrendous shape shifting and find love in the meanwhile. I mean really, why can't they shape shift into a cat or a horse? Why is all this wolf stuff special anyways, oh, yes. Twilight. DO YOU SEE THEIR ENTWINEOSITY....(and I know that's not a word...)

Anyways, I'm tired of werewolves. Give me something else, and I just might read the book. Anyways, I was always on Team Edward. ;)

9. This is how the story goes: A girl has to stay in a haunted house JUST CAUSE SHE HAS TO. Maybe it's because if she does, then she can own the place (who would want to do that?) or maybe because she doesn't have a home to go to (I'd rather sleep on the street in a cardboard box to be truthful). But it's always the same: JUST CAUSE SHE HAS TO BECAUSE THAT WILL DEVELOP THE PLOT. (Aquatip: Never put something in your writing just because it will "develop the plot" so to speak. Your characters do things for a reason, not just because you're God in their world and you want them to. Learn from my mistakes.) Then the story goes that she meets some cats or an old witch lady in the basement and finds love along the way, possibly the current landlord.

BORING.

If your characters don't have a solid motive, your book will become more 2D. I do not want to read a book about a girl wandering around in a haunted house, muttering, "Oh my, look at that rather unusually large kitty!"

No.

10. I know happy endings are also becoming somewhat overused, but we still need them. Once in a while we do want to read a story with a happy ending, just so there's an iota of hope that happiness really can come true. Child abuse only rarely has happy endings, because in a lot of cases the child turns into the abuser when he/she grows up. But anyways, there is a lot of child abuse going on in books. I know you want your YA book to be angsty, but you have to know I don't want to read a book about drugs-alcohol-sex-child abuse-bullying-gangs-depression-suicide all in one freaking story! It will make me depressed. It also makes the agents tug at their collars, because child abuse doesn't sell that good. Why? I just told you from the perspective of a young adult, a prospective buyer.

That's all for now folks. I'm tired and I have images of vampires in Scotland chasing around rather unusually large kitties in my head. This blog session has officially tired me.

After the break,

Vanille!!

"If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." ~Toni Morrison

(This is what S.E. Hinton of The Outsiders did)

P.S. I'm having trouble with my blog layout, just ignore the READ MORE links. I might get it fixed. Maybe not.